Permanent Chastity

The kink to end all kinks

Okay, I guess it’s been long enough

In my time involved in the community, I’ve seen more than a few posts about guys wanting to go “permanent”. Mostly I just eye-roll. One poster said something to the effect of ‘I’m two days into my permanent chastity journey”. He just got his cage. But let’s talk about permanent chastity, its flavors, the fantasy, and the reality.

Unlike a lot of topics I cover, my expertise here is more from reading others’ posts. But I do a lot of reading and so I have a good background of knowledge and I myself go for weeks on end without removal so I have some understanding of one flavor of permanent chastity, at least from a technical aspect.

What is “permanent” chastity

And that’s why it’s so difficult to communicate about permanent – it means so many different things. And frankly, that’s just part of the world we live in today. Everyone gets their own definitions to the point that words no longer have a shared meaning – which, ironically, was the whole reason we invented them in the first place.

If you head over to r/permanentChastity (don’t) you’ll see so many photos of men in flat cages or cages that couldn’t be worn for more than a few days without removal. And you’ll see videos of people installing these silly little plastic “permanent” locks into their plastic cages. I mean sure, whatever floats your boat but if that’s what people are calling permanent these days, what word is reserved for people who literally have not removed their cage for months or even years?

Enough editorializing. Let’s talk about some reasonable definitions of permanent or at least definitions that I consider reasonable.

My penis is no longer used for sexual gratification

Someone who can make that statement, I would certainly not balk if they described themselves as permanent regardless of how often then need to remove their cage. Were Jenn supportive of such a relationship, I think it is something I could make work, at least for some number of months. I know of many people who are in basically this kind of dynamic. People including Thumper, Tom Van Allen, Giles English, and others. It doesn’t require anything special as far as the cage goes. Giles prefers his cages plastic and skin toned (sorry Giles but gross lol). Thumper loves his titanium Orion. Tom enjoys an inexpensive steel AliEx cage (A150 I believe or maybe it’s A152 – eh, whatever it takes).

I think this is an A150. Credit: Some nameless Chinese brand

Note that all of these men have keyholders – wives. While I don’t remember the sexual dynamic of all of these men and their wives (I know Tom and Mrs. Edge prefer “foxing”, from faux – the man wears a strap-on), I do know their wives no longer prefer their husbands’ penises. As Giles once remarked to me before I even bought my first cage, a wife that prefers her husband’s penis will put the brakes on any chastity dynamic. As is the case for me – Jenn and I will usually go three to six weeks between intercourse (or the more succinct and crass PIV – penis in vagina).

Perhaps it’s just my lack of imagination but I personally struggle to understand giving up on your penis as a sexual organ without a keyholder and I imagine few do, at least without it being accompanied by emotional trauma or by some form of gender dysmorphia – a word I hope respectfully encompasses various ways people identify themselves as something other than a man.

There is a lot to say about a permanent chastity relationship with a spouse but as I’m not in one, and it’s not technical in nature, I’ll cede the field to those who have already given it an excellent treatment.

I no longer remove my cage

This is a more technical form of permanent and one I can understand as I favor cages that allow such a thing.

Men who live with this kind of dynamic have cages that can be worn indefinitely. They don’t remove them for hygiene. Perhaps they remove it for the TSA but quite a few do not – while it may be considered rude, it isn’t illegal. Its removal may only be limited to medical procedures that require its removal. From what I know, Thumper more or less lives this dynamic with very short stints outside of his cage.

What do you need for such a lifestyle. Well, most likely it will require a steel or titanium cage with a more open or semi-open design. It doesn’t have to be but it certainly makes things easier.

A BA-28 with a PA hook. Credit: Badass Workroom

One irony of the constraints of this lifestyle is the more amiable the cage is to the lifestyle, the easier it is masturbate just as you would without the cage on. I myself have been guilty of this in several of my cages including the BA-28, the Jail Bird, and the Spyder (the Spyder makes it a bit difficult but if it’s been long enough, it’s still doable).

But again, if you’re willing to spend a little more time in the shower, a cage with far more coverage can be worn. I am currently testing if I can safely wear my titanium BAWR Premium test cage indefinitely by periodically removing it hours after a shower and making sure there are no odd smells and my skin doesn’t look “water logged”. So far, after a week of continuous wear (aside from those five-minute checks), I can keep myself clean without too much extra effort.

My BAWR Premium test cage. Credit: BAWR (copyright belongs to the photographer but the design is mine)

But aside from having a cage that can be worn indefinitely, there’s very few technical requirements to be able to engage in such a dynamic.

I can no longer remove my cage

Now here’s the fantasy. When people LARP about “going permanent”, when they video themselves breaking off that key in that silly little $5 brass lock, this is what they are fantasizing about.

But for some, it is not just a fantasy – they have actually done this. They will wear a cage for years before removing it with some very serious cutting tools and destroying it in the process.

What does this require? Well… a bit more.

I remember when I was just lying in bed waiting for Jenn to get out of the bath. And this is a bit embarrassing but I guess everyone does it. I was just idly fidgeting with my cage and my penis. I wasn’t masturbating or anything – just goofing around. And I noticed something, something I wish I hadn’t had noticed. And perhaps something that if you haven’t noticed, you’re going to wish you hadn’t read the rest of this.

You see what I’m doing here? I’m giving you time to stop reading. But I’m also building suspense. You just can’t stop reading, can you? Well, a lot of you are going to be pretty let down because you already knew this. But despite being in my 50s, I didn’t know this.

I can push my glans into my shaft, through all 80 or so millimeters of shaft and I can keep pushing until lo and behold, my glans is on the other side of the ring¹.

And I’m out.

Well, so much for “I can no longer remove my cage”. Sure, maybe my balls are still trapped (not for me – I’m the guy who needs a 19+ mm ball gap, if the shaft is out of the way, the balls can come straight through) but the operable part is nice and free.

So, what are we going to do. We’re going to make an appointment at a piercer and have a hole that, regardless of which god(s) you believe in, did not intend to be there. And then we’re going to wait for a six weeks for that hole to heal. Then we’re going to try to make that hole bigger and bigger until it’s like 4 AWG. I have no idea how long that takes – months. But once you’re there, you get that PA-secured cage you get a one-way screw or an e-clip and you are not getting out of that thing without destroying something – hopefully that something is made of metal and not penis.

Of course, you could just get a prosthetic PA, a tetherspout, and be good that day. Whatever.

Demystifying the Dark Art of Tetherspouts

So, do people actually do this. Yes. People actually do. Why? Honestly, it’s beyond me but more power to them.

But before you run off to get pierced, you need to really think about some things and ask yourself some questions and put your fantasies aside because this shit is about to get real.

If you aren’t a math nerd, don’t worry, you can still go permanent. Credit: XKCD

What am I giving up by not being able to remove my cage?

For all the people who clutch their pearls when talking about going through the TSA with a big steel cage, that’s not really an issue. Again, it is not illegal to wear a cage through airport security in the US or I imagine most Western countries. I’m not going to get into the “consent” debate here. But if you’re at the point where you want to make chastity a permanent part of your body, I’d say your equities in the matter, your bodily autonomy, trumps any concerns of “exposing someone to your kink”. But, you do need to understand that you’re going to be That Guy that annoys everyone because of some level of special screening. And yes, titanium will definitely be detected by an airport metal detector.

But there’s also things like gym showers. You’re really just going to have a lot of inconveniences that those of us with a key can avoid.

Aside from those inconveniences, there are other things to consider.

MRIs are sometimes an absolute necessity. But I have had one in my life so it’s not exactly an every day thing. But when you need them, you need them. And I am sure there are other medical procedures that they simply will not do when you’re wearing a cage. They just don’t want the liability. My guess is anything involving anesthesia, they just won’t touch if you’re locked. I could be wrong but the medical profession is conservative as hell and they don’t generally make exceptions for the requirements for a non-emergency procedure.

Are you single? What happens if you do meet that special person. Having to mention to them that you permanently wear a cage on your junk is unlikely to go well.

And what if you just get bored of it?

Now, none of these are real issues. You can cut yourself out of the cage after all. But, you’re not getting another one for at least six weeks because BAWR takes forever (should probably just buy two). And it’s $500 down the drain. But as long as you are realistically thinking about this and understanding the sacrifice of connivence the rest of us have, then it can be a perfectly rational choice. If you go this route, make sure you have an emergency key available. But this is one you won’t be freezing in a block of ice.

Your new emergency key.

Motivations

I’m on shaky ground here but there are a few common motivations I can identify. As I mentioned, there’s gender dysmorphia. How that goes from wearing a cage as a matter of course to permanent, I don’t quite understand but I have noticed a higher rate of incidence of people who have been locked for well over a year among that cohort.

And as I’ve discussed, there are those whose relationships lend themselves to permanent – a wife who prefers other modes of sex besides the traditional, and a husband who has discovered, for whatever reason, a kink for chastity with or without orgasm denial. This is a dynamic I wish I could explore more but we have yet to find something that really works for Jenn.

I imagine other motivations may include some self-worth issues or fetishizing lack of success in finding a sexual partner but that’s just speculation. And in so far as those people exist, I wonder about the healthiness of using chastity in this manner. But, it’s not like I don’t seek comfort in less than psychologically healthy ways from my own shortcomings. I think my dedication to this Substack may ultimately be to reassure myself of my own self-worth.

The motivation that I think is the most common, at least on the internet is the performative one – people who feel practicing permanent chastity will improve their standing among their peers. And within that community, I’m sure it does. I think we’re all subject to this in some way or another, not necessarily with respect to permanent but with respect to wanting to earn the admiration of those you perceive as your peers. I’m certainly not going to dismiss this motivation as unworthy. But I do hope people who are doing it for this reason understand that a lot of the crap you see out there is just that. If they have an OnlyFans page with their wife or girlfriend, I seriously doubt they are actually permanent in any sense of the word.

Conclusion

Anyone can walk around with their flat cage that they have to unlock to go to the bathroom and declare themselves permanent. And ultimately, I don’t care and I’m sure they don’t care if I’m rolling my eyes. But there are people who are, for all intents and purposes, permanent. Choosing to do so can be a point-in-time choice or it can simply be, as I believe Tom would prefer to describe it, a matter of fact – I was locked yesterday, I’m locked today, and I’ll likely be locked tomorrow. Unless accompanied by the purchase of emergency bolt cutters, I think I prefer Tom’s “indefinite chastity” as there’s no performative aspect to it. But, if making the declaration helps you commit to it and for whatever reason you feel it’s something that you need to commit to, well, go for it. But if you do it after two days of getting your first cage, expect some groans.

1. You know how hard it is to get subject / verb agreement right when the damn subject in its singular form ends in an ‘s’. Fucking English.