I had an opportunity to sit down with Newbie Yeager, noted chastity cage test pilot. He shared his thoughts on testing cages, what can go wrong, and why he does it.
Q. So, I’ve got to ask, Newbie Yeager? Any relation to Chuck Yeager, the famous test pilot?
I think you may be the first one to notice that. Yeah, Chuck Yeager was my grandfather. When I first got started testing cages, I went back and dug through his old flight logs, journal, and anything else I could find to see what advice my famous grandfather might have for me. It’s been a great inspiration for me.
Q. What do you think he would make of his grandson being a cage tester?
I think he’d be really proud. He put his life on the line every time he went up there, not just in a prototype but even a well-proven jet. Remember, military jets don’t have the safety margins of commercial airliners. And I’m putting my dick on the line. And if I lose that, well, I don’t think I’d want to go on living.
Q. So, besides numerous cages of your own design, you’ve tested a design that is completely different than anything out there. What’s it like?
You know, it’s been a long long time since I’ve had my dick in a virgin and that’s what testing a brand new device is like.
The Grip was already a fairly refined device but I definitely took it outside of the envelope. In fact, Ed was really concerned when he saw my measurements, that my girth behind my glans were so large compared with the middle of my shaft. He was terrified the device would just fall off me or something. And there were some rough spots with that initial device, what people receiving theirs today wouldn’t know about. For one thing, the hook was really a weak point in the design. When you drop it on the floor and then step on it while looking for it, well, it breaks. That was a pretty big deal, I mean without that hook, we didn’t have a mission.
Fortunately, I had a 3D printer so Ed sent me the file and I printed a few more just in case we had another failure.
You know, not many know this but the first time I had The Grip on, it wasn’t all ABS like the ones the beta testers were wearing. Nope. That out-of-spec hook was made of PETG and clear PETG at that so an even higher chance of getting stepped on. But luckily, that never happened.
Q. Were you nervous going out of spec like that?
You know, there’s this machismo that all cage testers have. We have an image to keep up after all. But yeah, of course I was nervous. We were already outside the envelope with the size of my glans and you’ve seen what my hard cock can do to cages [Note: referring to a number of BAWR test cages that failed due to erections] and now adding something Ed hadn’t even tested – a PETG hook, well, yeah it was an added risk and I was pretty nervous. But Ed thought it would be okay and ultimately, you’ve got to trust your engineers, I mean until the moment you put it on for the first time, well, they know the cage the best.
Q. How did the Grip work out?
The reason I was approached to test out the Grip was because of the hours I had logged in other shaft-only devices. Now, that experience wasn’t completely transferable to something brand new like The Grip but I think it help out a lot. For one thing, Ed and I didn’t have to go back and forth on sizing. I had a pretty good idea of what I’d need from the device to get a safe and successful test run even though Ed was pretty nervous but you know engineers, they worry about everything when it’s not on a test bench.
But it went well. One of the easy mistakes to make with a new device, whether it’s something completely novel or just a new cage from Temu, is to think that hey, this is working pretty well but then not keep an eye on your instruments. What I mean is you still have got to take it off and check things out from time to time.
It was a solid device and I think it’s going to help a lot of people and you know, that’s really why I do this, why I put my cock on the line. I want to help people get their kink on.
Q. I’ve heard rumors you may be testing something brand new, maybe even more out there than The Grip. Can you share anything with my readers?
You’re well informed. Yeah, I’m testing something new. I can’t discuss specifics of the device. In fact the designer doesn’t even want renders shared. But we’re having some back and forths about it.
I can say this. Nothing in my extensive experience with numerous devices has ever prepared me for something like this. This isn’t a cage how anyone has ever imagined a cage.
Putting on a device that you don’t even understand how to measure for is going to have some real risk. In fact, the first version I put on, and this was last night actually, wasn’t even the full device. The engineer wanted to save print time so there I am getting a device on, a device that’s completely out there, and you’re missing a part. That’s not something I want to make a habit of doing.
So, you take it slow and look at what your cock is doing and what the device is doing and if something doesn’t look right, well, you’ve just got to call it. And that’s what I had to do last night – I had to call it.
You really hate that. You know the design team wants everything to work out but it’s not their meat on the line, it’s yours.
I think it’ll work out though – we figured out what needed to be done. The design team made some changes where I could have more control of the fit from my side and I printed out a new copy today. It was a much improved fit but still has some issues so I’m going to try another once my wife gets home with the key.
Q. You’re testing this now? What about Locktober?
Yeah, it was a sacrifice. And I know the rules and the Executive Council hasn’t made any exceptions covering testing new devices. I mean there are like what, 50 of us out there, I can understand them overlooking us. But maybe I can appeal later; I think I have a pretty good case.
Q. I noticed you didn’t sign up to test that new anti-pullout device coming out of Germany?
When you’ve been in as many cages as I have, you can get a feel for what will work out and what won’t. People have been coming up with “no-escape” gimmicks for years. There are proven ways to make a cage inescapable and this isn’t one of them. But hey, maybe it’ll work but I’ll be damned if I’d go up in that thing.
Q. Finally, do you have any advice for people out there developing cages?
Sure. Not that I’m short for work but I can’t say enough how valuable it is to find men with The Right Stuff to put their stuff in your device. You don’t want your product going out there and getting someone killed because some first timer didn’t know what they were doing and there was something you overlooked, something that didn’t show up in the sims. In the real world, shit happens and you need someone who can think on their feet, who won’t panic when a lock won’t come out or hell, a hook gets stepped on and broken.
Thank you, Newbie Yeager.
Editors note: Not four days after this interview was taken, Mr. Newbie Yeager’s penis was horribly burned after testing a new app-controlled cage. While investigations are ongoing, it appears his erection caused one of the Li-Ion batteries to rupture. Mr Yeager took his own life the next day. He did not complete Locktober.